It feels weird to be back into writing again. Sitting on this brown couch in front of my laptop and listening to Blue Christmas by Elvis Presley. Yeah, it’s going to be Christmas soon and I never felt this empty.

Last month had been a very emotional month for me. The one thing that I feared the most to happen happened to me. I lost the most important person in my life, my superhero, my no. 1 believer and fan, my inspiration, my everything.

I said to myself that I will write a post about my superhero as soon as I’m ready. I guess I’m not. Just a thought of how perfect a father he was to me gives me pain. I don’t know how to move on. It just hurts so bad.

I’ve been through the other stages of grief, I think I will be stuck in the depression stage for a while. It’s just so difficult to accept that the man I love and trust the most is gone.

I would like to give my heartfelt thanks to Rosema, Jenn and Jeanette  for the unfeigned messages that had emotionally uplifted me during those hard times.


Pancake Bunnykins

An Asian mermaid lost in transition.

I live in an enchanted forest at the end of a rainbow. I have a little window in my room where I can see unicorns playing in the grass field at day and magical fairies dancing under the silvery moon at night.


  1. Bunnykins, I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is never easy.
    I’m glad you’re back; I’ve been missing you and wondering if you were okay. Sending you love and hugs <3

  2. I’m very sorry to hear about your loss. I know it must be very hard for you to bear. The tremendous sadness that you feel, though, is evidence of what a wonderful father he was to you.

  3. My condolences. I don’t know the words to console you right now but here’s my advice. Grieve. Sadness is a powerful thing and if you resist it, it will only come back stronger. So let yourself be sad. Then when your time of grief is over, let happiness back into your life.

    Your superhero wouldn’t want you to be sad forever.

  4. Sorry, but I am really crying right now. I cannot imagine your pain, dear. I cannot. It will not get better, know that, because a parent’s loss will hurt, forever. I know that too, somehow, because there are a lot of instances when I almost lost my tatay, too. But still, your pain is different because he’s gone. 🙁 Just be sad. Because that’s normal. Just mourn and grieve, because it’s normal. Let time shed your tears. Let time heal your loss. It will forever hurt, but your tears will not be forever. *hugs*

  5. I can’t wait for time to heal every pain I’m feeling right now. I’m trying to distract my mind away from my memories of him. It’s much faster to move on if you’re distracted. Although, the pain made me a little stronger too.

  6. Yes, that’s true. When your busy you can somehow deviate with the pain. But it’s still there. Sabi nga ni John Green, ‘pain demands to be felt’. So feel it. It will not stay forever. And yes, you will surely be stronger. Because your tatay/papa/daddy is definitely looking after you. 🙂

Let me know what you think 🐰

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