Christmas seasons usually have
a heartwarming kind of coldness in the air,
but right now, it’s not.

To me, it’s just an ordinary cold December-month
surrounded by solitude and emptiness.
It’s bitter!
I am bitter!
I am blinded by the grief in my heart that I can’t seem to
appreciate the meaning of the season.

Is Christmas really coming soon?
It’s the season to be jolly, right?
It’s my favorite holiday!
A wonderful time for celebrating and sharing,
but I can’t feel any of it.
Gone is the nostalgic feeling of listening to
Christmas songs.
Gone is the happiness
of decorating for Christmas.
Gone is the excitement
of waking up on Christmas morning.
My Christmas spirit is gone.

Christmas is for family,
but I feel so alone.
I’m not used to celebrating it
without my father.
I just can’t.

© Pancake Bunnykins


Pancake Bunnykins

An Asian mermaid lost in transition.

I live in an enchanted forest at the end of a rainbow. I have a little window in my room where I can see unicorns playing in the grass field at day and magical fairies dancing under the silvery moon at night.


  1. It is hard, but you will overcome and move on. But not without the hollow spot. Try to turn the hollow spot into a holy spot full of memories, hope and always a fun, pure, holy spot to keep your daddy near. You, my dear, are a great writer. Let your words be outlet. Do you know Hayley at “Dear Dad?” She is a precious and very gifted writer. Check her out. https://heavenlyfootsteps.wordpress.com/

Let me know what you think 🐰

%d bloggers like this: